Wherever You Will Go
by XanderB
Summary: Heero and Duo finally confess their feelings for one another when they are ripped apart cruelly by fate. What happens when they meet again? And who's the little girl by Duo's side?
1. Chapter 1

Wherever You Will Go

I do not own GW or the song used which is 'Wherever You Will Go' by The Calling.

Warnings: LEMON, yaoi (maleXmale), character death, and mentions of past suicide attempts, swearing, violence, slight gore, MPREG, OOCNESS, WAFF, etc. If you can't stomach this kind of story or you don't like yaoi please don't read.

Author's notes: I'm sorry for the death, that character is one of my favorite ones and I really don't like when characters die. There is a sequel, so please don't write this off because the character dies. You may be surprised at the outcome.

Lyrics

So lately, been wondering,

Who will be there to take my place

When I'm gone, you'll need love

To light the shadows on your face.

If a greater wave shall fall

And fall upon us all

Then between the sand and stone,

Could you make it on your own?

(Heero)

I shared a room Duo in yet another broken-down, shack of a safe house. As usual, we had been paired up as partners and apparent bunkmates as well. I watched him from afar, memorizing and trying desperately to analyze his enigmatic and intriguing behavior. It amazed me that someone could be so cheerful and mischievous while in the midst of carnage and war. I didn't fit in with him; I couldn't. How could anyone else pull off his personality? I had become completely enamored with him without even realizing it. I had even begun referring to him as beautiful in my mind. By the time I finally realized what had happened, it was far too late to stop the emotion. I was certain that I was falling in love with him, but I vowed to never allow him to know it. I couldn't risk distracting him or losing him because of my selfish heart.

So I played my role as the emotionless, robotic prick and Duo played his as the ever laughing prankster. He'd never think I could feel the way I did for him; he'd never even guess that I could harbor the emotions. He would never know that I loved him and I would never tell him so. I figured he didn't like guys anyways. If he did, he wouldn't hang out with that girl, what was her name, Hilde? And he wouldn't let her cling to him like she did or at least that's what I told myself daily, trying to harden my resolve to never let him know I cared. I didn't know for sure really. It's not like he'd broad casted his sexual orientation to the world. I couldn't even build up the courage to ask him about it, lest he figure out my ulterior motives. Besides, everyone thought I was heterosexual, or at least I liked to believe they did. I wasn't positive, but I thought that Trowa might have figured me out. I was grateful that he was a quiet boy.

A faint snore from across the room stalled the stubborn train of thoughts spinning through my ever-moving mind. 'Duo', I thought, looking over at him. He was so adorable when he was asleep, what an odd word for someone like me to use when describing my closest comrade, but it was the only word that came to mind when I gazed upon his prone form.

His luxurious hair was down, spread out around him like a shining halo and my calloused fingers itched to feel it slip between them. I could imagine just how soft those chestnut-coloured locks would be. I wondered idly in the depths of my mind, how he possibly kept it looking the way it did in our profession. His bright cobalt blue eyes were closed in the lull of exhausted slumber, the sooty lashes set lazily upon his defined cheekbones, his face peaceful, lying on his back, slightly on his side with his delicately, pale right palm resting up beside his head and the other lost beneath the excess of blankets somewhere. God damn it! Why did he have to be so beautiful? Why did he have to make me want him so much when I knew I would never have him?

I turned away from the frustrating temptation to watch him to face the utterly uninteresting wall next to my own lumpy bed, the elderly mattress groaning with agony as I moved. I forcefully pushed thoughts of my gorgeous best friend sleeping no more than five feet away into the back of my mind, trying to fall into fitful sleep. I wished I could be in his bed with him, not necessarily sexually either, just to hold him close to me and keep him warm and safe in the middle of the night. It sounded so ridiculously cheesy even to me, but that was what I honestly wanted to be doing in the wee hours of the morning. I couldn't stop thinking about him when I was awake; I'd begun dreaming of him too and it was slowly driving me insane.

Images of him with his hair down and twirling in circles danced about playfully in my head, taunting me. There had been a day when I had caught him doing just that. It had been early one morning in the late spring and I had woken up to find Duo missing. I couldn't understand how he had managed to sneak away without my knowledge, so I had gone looking for him, searching the whole house until I found him in the backyard. The sun had been shining through the cerulean grass, catching the new-dawn dew in that certain way, making it sparkle as though the stars had spent the night on it and Duo had told me that it was his favourite part of the morning once. I'd stood stock still on the cracked cement patio, my eyes unable to break from the vision that was him. He had had his eyes closed, arms outstretched, his long fingers wiggling in the air as his hair floated around him as he spun, too slow to catch up with his swift spinning. He'd been wearing nothing more than an over-sized t-shirt I had given him to wear for bed; it was about five times too big for him. I could just barely see the bottom hem of what I assumed to be his black boxer briefs. 'Beautiful' was the only word in my mind.

I was just nearly beginning to doze, Duo's image still dancing around in my mind's eye. I was on the edge of peaceful slumber, when I felt an ice-cold hand on my bare shoulder. I hadn't even heard him moving from his bed behind me. I whirled around abruptly, grabbing the hand before it could escape. I guess you could say my 'soldier instincts' had kicked in finally. I stared at Duo for a second before releasing his seemingly too-slim wrist from my grip. I'd already known that he'd have bruises from it the next day and a small twang of guilt washed through me briefly before being overwhelmed by concern. He was shaking quite violently before me and there were silvery tears glistening on his already damp cheeks. More of the tiny droplets of salty liquid flowing from his shimmering near indigo eyes.

"Duo, what's wrong?" my voice hardly more than a concern concerned whisper. I hadn't even meant for the concern to be evident, but I hadn't exactly been prepared for the situation at hand. I'd never seen Duo that way before, shaken to the point that he had come to me for comfort. He looked so frightened at the demons in his mind, as if it were eating him up inside. I was worried, more so than I should have let on. I loved Duo more than

anything and no matter what my mind screamed, I couldn't shut him out now.

"I-I had a nightmare and I just--" he stuttered slightly, his voice trembling as tears still streamed in wet tendrils down his ivory cheeks. I reached out to touch him, maybe to wipe away his terrified tears, but he backed away too quickly for me to get the the chance to feel his skin against my finger tips. He clutched his arms to his sides, hugging himself fiercely, "Don't touch me! I just, I needed to make sure it wasn't real, that's all," he concluded, sending a shiver down my spine as his hauntingly eerie whisper traveled through me.

"Duo," I spoke as softly as I could, my voice just barely above a whisper. I fought furiously with the uncontrollable urge to hold him and comfort him as I might to a lover. I felt helpless as he looked down at me with red-rimmed, watery eyes.

He turned to leave, his feet making no more than a wisp of sound on the chilly floor, "Sorry for waking you," he whispered before taking another step away from me. I watched silently as he did, having no idea what I should or shouldn't do. I couldn't let him go like that, but I couldn't exactly grab a hold of him and hug him tightly to my chest. He now thought I was angry with him for waking me up, when really I was worried, wanting to cuddle him close and never let him go again.

"Duo, wait," it was out of my mouth before it. I hadn't even meant to say it really, but it had slipped between my lips anyways. He cocked his head slightly, acknowledging my interference, listening. "Come here," I finished with a heavy sigh. I pulled up the blankets to make room for him. He watched me questioningly as he turned fully to face me, his eyes widening just the slightest bit. I noticed the tears staining his cheeks now that the flow had begun to slow, only a few new drops sluggishly clinging to his lashes. I held back the pressing desire to grab him and pull him to me. "Hurry up, I'm letting all of the heat out," I commanded quietly, smiling, or at least trying to.

Finally, after probably ten minutes of debating with himself inside his head, Duo climbed into the warm haven I'd offered him. It was only a few seconds before, "Heero?" he called out in a voice I've never heard him use before, more than a whisper, but much softer than his normally chipper tone.

"Yeah?" I answered readily, having expected the question I'd known he'd ask.

"Why are you doing this?" he inquired, the words coming from his mouth slowly.

I moved the tiniest bit nearer to him, pressing my body to his. He was shivering obviously, his whole body quivering with cold and his teeth were chattering rapidly. I really mustn't have been thinking clearly at that moment because I blurted clumsily, "Because I love you," without analyzing the repercussions that would take place because of my foolish admission. I had confessed, finally getting the unbearable weight of not knowing, not telling him off of my chest.

"W-What?" he choked out, clearly he hadn't been expecting that kind of answer from someone like me.

"I-I love you," I repeated, a hot blush creeping across my cheeks as the words flew from my mouth once again.

"You do?" he sounded dumbstruck asking in an amazed whisper. His voice quavered a little as he shook against me. What was so hard to believe, that it was a man that loved him or that I, Heero Yuy, the 'Perfect Soldier', loved him?

"Yes, more than anything else I've ever known," I replied boldly, encouraged by the lack of a disgusted outburst or a punch to the jaw. And boy, was I glad it was dark because I was sure that I was a bright scarlet by then. A lot of people didn't think I could blush. Would they be surprised to find out that all it took was being so close to Duo Maxwell.

(Duo)

My stony, frigid best friend had just admitted to me the thing that I had wanted most in the entire known universe, dreamed about since the first time I saw him and all I could do was choke on the reply I'd been praying to say for so long."Heero, I love you too,"I managed to whisper out, finally finding my elusive voice.

"You do? But I thought, I was sure that you and Hilde were--" the surprised answer started, Heero fumbling with his words.

"Hilde and I? No, I could never be with her. She's more like a sister to me Heero, even if she wishes she were more. I'm not particularly attracted to girls anyway," I interrupted, stifling a chuckle in the blankets. Hilde and I; we weren't like that, she knew about my feelings for the angsty, chocolate haired, Wing pilot.

I was still trembling like crazy from the nightmare I'd woken up from. I couldn't believe that it had me so shaken. It was one nightmare I hoped would never come true for Heero's sake and my own. My shaking didn't escape Heero's superior powers of observation.

"Duo, are you alright?" he sounded so concerned, so worried; I'd never thought he could show that kind of emotion; he was always so calm and collected.

"Not really," I whispered truthfully; I never could lie properly. I could feel fresh tears brewing in my already burning eyes. Warm arms encircled me from behind and an entirely too heated body pressed against mine, Heero's toned chest to my lithe back, hardly more than a thin layer of material keeping our skin apart. "Heero,"I started in a soft, scared whisper, trying to keep my voice from shaking. I had no idea what was happening at that moment. I'd never been so close to another person in my entire life and the close proximity was doing things to my body that I wasn't sure I was ready for.

"Shh, it's okay. I won't let you go, not anymore. You're mine now Duo," he soothed comfortingly. The words shot right through my chest, sealing my heart and stealing it from my chest to hold in the palm of his hand for eternity. I sighed shakily, desperately working to subdue my body's reactions to Heero's touch, his words making it even harder to concentrate.

'Oh Heero, why did you do this? You don't understand. Why did you ever fall in love with me? You're going to get hurt if you get involved. Why can't you just stay away? I hate this. Everyone I love, dies. Please Heero, why can't you just hate me? It'd be so much easier, so much less painful. What if my nightmare comes true? What happens when I lose you?' my mind questioned rapidly, but I could change how Heero felt for me no more than I could change color of the moon.

I couldn't stop it, not even if I tried. How could I reject him when I loved him so thoroughly and no I knew he loved me just as well. And now, he'd made a promise to me and probably signed his own death certificate. They didn't nickname me 'Shinigami' for nothing. It was no secret that alll who came in contact wit me, met their untimely death. And I was sorry, so sorry. I was sorry that I wanted him so badly that I couldn't just say goodbye and save him from a curse I didn't know how to break.

I was lost in my own subconscious as Heero shifted behind me. Pulled out of my thoughts abruptly, I glanced back at Heero who was looking right back at me. I stared into the deep Prussian orbs of his eyes, the lines in his irises moving as his pupils dilated in the non-existent light. 'What are you thinking?' I wanted to ask. He spoke instead, not breaking eye-contact with me, " Duo, I love you so much. Could I kiss you?" he asked, blushing in the slanted moonlight that shone dully through the blinds onto his sculpted figure. I wasn't sure how to answer him. I just watched him, giving the barest nod. E blinked, his eyes darkening with an emotion I was completely unfamiliar with. Didn't they call it lust?

Heero waited as I turned to face him, swallowing reflexively as he lent closer to me, his face just inches from mine. I could feel his breath over my lips. What would happen when he kissed me? What happened when people kissed usually? In all the movies I'd even seen with men and women; when they kissed, it always turned into other things. Would Heero want to put his tongue in my mouth? Would he want to see me naked? What would happen if he wanted more than that? What if he wanted me to go down on him or worse, what if he wanted to fuck me? I didn't know what to do if any of those things happened. Hell, I hardly knew how to kiss.

"Heero, I've never done this kind of thing before," I tried to explain, but Heero just nodded a little and came closer. My eyes widened as his lips parted just the slightest and then they were on mine. It was better than I expected it to be. Heero''s lips were soft and he didn't use too much pressure. It was just a chaste joining of lips until he massaged mine just a bit with his. It felt nice and my body started warming up a lot more than it had just moments before. He pulled back for breath and I thought I should maybe say something before he kissed me again, but I was too nervous to do it.

Heero was looking at me so intensely as he moved to slide in between my legs, hovering over me. I let him do it, not exactly sure what was going to happen when he did it. He kissed me again, his lips harder than before, his mouth opening. I closed my eyes, concentrating on the feeling. Then his tongue slipped in between my lips and into my mouth. I wasn't sure what to think as my eyes shot open. Heero didn't pull back again, breathing through his nose instead. His tongue pressed insistently against my own, coaxing it into motion. I slowly slid my own against his, playing with slick muscle and trying to memorize the feeling of it.

Heero seemed to know what he was doing as his hands trailed under my long night shirt and up my sides softly. I shivered impulsively, my own hands itching to move. I worked on instinct as I ran my fingers up Heero's back. He hummed into my mouth in appreciation. I let my hands explore, trailing my finger tips over his skin. Before I knew it, my shirt was being pulled off and Heero's mouth was on my neck, hot tongue sliding against my pulse. I breathed heavily as pleasured tremors ran through me.

As Heero's tongue traveled down my neck, over my collarbone and onto my chest, I moaned, my hands automatically curling into his chocolaty locks. I didn't even know what was happening anymore as he slipped my boxer briefs off and I was nude before him. By the time the fog in my mind had cleared enough to realize just what was taking place, Heero was over me completely naked as well, his larger erection bobbing proudly against his thigh. My own hard-on throbbed between us, the reddened tip leaking pre-cum. I'd never been so hard in my life and certainly not in front of anyone. I knew what was going to happen then. It was obvious. I understood the mechanics of it, but I didn't know what to expect when it came to actually doing it.

Heero was looking around for some kind of lube when I found my voice once more, "Heero, wait, I-I'm a virgin," I blurted out embarrassedly as he looked down at me expectantly. I may run and hide, but I never lie and if Heero was going to have sex with me, he definitely needed to now I was a virgin. I watched his reaction. He seemed to think it over for a moment, his hair obscuring his lovely eyes as his mind worked over what I'd said. He'd probably already known that I was a virgin since I'd said that I'd never even kissed anyone before. I laid out beneath him, feeling utterly vulnerable and unsure of where to go from there, so I waited.

"Duo, if you want to wait, I won't force you. I'd never force you. It's up to you. I love you and I just want to show you what it's like," he spoke finally, his warm fingertips tracing light patterns over my flat abdomen, dipping into my naval occasionally. I swallowed, aroused goosebumps rising on my skin. He was offering me a way out if I wasn't ready for this. Quite frankly, I wasn't sure if I was or not, but I wanted him, I wanted him terribly. I closed my eyes for a minute, trying desperately to collect my muddled thoughts. Heero shifted again above me. I knew he would be on top; I'd always assumed it when I imagined us together. It would hurt me; I knew that too. So, was I ready for that?

My breath came in breathless pants. I wasn't used to the feelings rolling through me. I was feeling a lot of things, desires, urges I'd never felt before and I didn't know what to do or what Heero was doing to make me feel the way I did. All of the emotion was radiating from the messy, chocolate-haired boy over me. He was driving me insane with pleasure and need. I opened my eyes again to lock with the icy blue crystal of Heero's. "Yes, I want to," came my whispered assent, permission granted.

(Heero)

That's all it took to spur me back into motion. The simple acceptance, exhaled through an innocent mouth. I breathed over the pale skin of the angel beneath me hungrily. If possible he was even more beautiful than with clothes on. I let my hands ghost a light trail of touch over his virgin body as he made small gasps and whimpers when I found his erogenous zones. Beautiful, so very beautiful and innocent. I knew this would be more amazing than anything I'd ever felt before, I just knew it would be. I'd had sex before, but this was different, this was love. Duo was a virgin and I intended to make it perfect for him, nothing like my first time. His first time would be special, I'd make sure of it. I crawled over him, spreading his legs gently, so that I could lay between his parted thighs easily. The position pushed my hard shaft dangerously close to his tight entrance. I wanted him so very badly, but I would not be forceful; I refused to be. I couldn't allow myself to be too rough, not with Duo. He was too precious to me, so I was gentle with Duo.

"Duo, you're sure?" I questioned for assurance. Once I started, I didn't think I'd be able to stop. I reached for a small container of Vaseline I kept for my chapped lips in my bedside drawer. His only reply was a soft sigh and a slight nod as I twisted the blue lid off the container. Duo's breathing became heavier and shook a little nervously. I scooped a healthy amount of the somewhat sticky substance out of the container and smeared it on the fingers of my right hand as I gazed down at the chestnut-haired beauty beneath me.

"Duo, baby, open your eyes," I demanded huskily as I circled a finger around the tightly wrinkled entrance of my soon-to-be lover. His eyes opened, nearly violet depths meeting mine and I remembered what had made me fall in love with him in the first place; his eyes, his beautiful cobalt eyes that seemed to change from blue to almost violet depending on his mood. They were so full of emotion. His eyes had caught me and I had fallen for him, head over heals. I pushed a well-lubed finger through the tight ring of muscle, feeling the smooth walls of his insides.

"Ahh," Duo exclaimed, arching reflexively at the intrusion.

"Shh, it's okay Duo, I'll try to be gentle," I promised in a soothing whisper. I slowly pulled the finger out and then pushed it back in slightly faster. I repeated the motion a few times, trying to get him used to the awkward feeling of being penetrated. Duo was so incredibly tight. I was losing my control quickly, but I held back, vowing to go slow. I added a second finger, scissoring the two back and forth, loosening the muscles before adding a third and final finger, causing Duo to cry out and whimper as I stretched his anus farther. That's when I found that spot. That spot that sent shivers down your spine and your blood to boiling, blasting you with unimaginable pleasure. I rubbed my fingertips over Duo's prostate again, reveling in the way he shuddered and moaned softly.

I couldn't take my own preparation anymore. I pulled my fingers from within Duo's scalding channel quickly and prepped my manhood with the rest of the Vaseline in my left hand. It was too much to handle, with the noises Duo was making and the tight heat that was embracing my fingers. I couldn't do it. I couldn't keep my sluggish pace. I needed him so terribly. My erect shaft was close to painful with arousal as I lubed myself. I stared down at Duo, my eyes burning into him with unrestrained lust. His breathing was coming in ragged pants and he was writhing under me, craving more friction, his erection rubbing against my thigh. He was so innocent, so pure and it turned me on so much that I thought I might ejaculate too soon. I couldn't wait to be inside of him.

"Duo this is the part that will hurt. I'll be careful, I promise," I warned, panting harshly. I was so afraid I'd tear him. He'd never done this before after all and it wasn't uncommon for it to happen your first time. His body would be sensitive and easy to tear if I was too rough. I'd be careful, I'd promised, I just hoped I'd prepared him enough to accept me. I pushed against the still tight hole, warning my angel that I was coming in. Duo just gasped and arched his back a little in anticipation. I pressed a bit harder, breaking through the virgin entrance with just the ruby crown. I slowly moved forward until I was hilt-deep inside his clamping channel.

Duo cried out, "Heero, it hurts," I watched him, his face contorted in pain, his lip between his teeth. He was crying, tears trekking silvery paths down his flushed cheeks.

"Do...You...Want to...Stop?" I panted out through gritted teeth. I would stop if he said yes, I was fully ready to pull out, although my body would give me hell for it.

"No, d-don't stop. It's okay, just don't move yet," he answered breathlessly. My arms shook with the effort as I stilled myself within him. I breathed a slow breath as I tried to force my body to calm down; it would get what it craved if it was just patient.

After what seemed an eternity, but was really no more than just a few minutes, Duo moved his hips experimentally. I groaned at the feel of my shaft slipping in deeper. I took his movement as my cue to continue. I gave a shallow thrust and Duo wrapped his arms around my shoulders and his legs around my waist tightly. I pulled out and thrust completely back in rougher than before, sliding easily. Duo hissed and dug his blunt nails into my flesh. I sighed, sinking into him again.

I thrust faster and Duo whimpered, but pushed back against me. There were still tears trailing on his face. He didn't want to stop, I reminded myself. I picked up the tempo, getting swifter with each sinking thrust as Duo began thrusting his hips back against mine, following in perfect sync with my rhythm. I was slipping, I was sure that I was going to climax. I was about to pull out of Duo, since I hadn't worn a condom. I didn't think it would be right for me to cum inside of him, but he stopped me.

"No," he demanded, holding onto me tighter.

"No what?" I asked confusedly, thrusting slowly and massaging Duo's erection in my unoccupied hand.

"Don't stop. Don't pull away. I love you, make me your's, cum inside me," he clarified huskily as his body shuddered from a barely contained climax.

I pushed harder into him, causing him to lose the last bit of control he had been using to hold back. He shivered as he shot hot seed onto my already burning hand. Damn, he was so beautiful, his face sweaty and flushed with orgasm, hair stuck to his forehead. That was it; that was all I could take before I lost control. I thrust once more, pushing myself deep into Duo before I spilled hot semen into his convulsing body. I knew I had broken a rule by coming inside of Duo, but he had wanted me to. Doctor J had told me never to ejaculate inside anyone without a condom, especially women or one of the other pilots. He explained why except that it would cause big problems. I pushed the nagging worry into the back of my mind, besides Duo and I both seemed fine at the time. Duo was mine, entirely mine.

Our breathing slowed to gentle exhales of warm breath as our heart rates settled back to normal from their elevated beating. I pulled my softening member out of Duo slowly. He winced a little, but didn't make a sound, his body still shivering in the aftermath of our lovemaking. It kind of surprised me that Duo hadn't been extremely vocal during sex, but I just assumed that it was because he was vocal everywhere else.

"Duo, I love you," I said in an exhausted whisper as I turned him over, pressing his back to my chest, ignoring the mess between us. He was smaller than me; I was taller and broader which made it easier for him to mold himself back against me. I smiled, completely sated as he cuddled closer.

"I love you too, Heero," he whispered back tiredly, already on the verge of sleep. As I held my angel we felt the peace of slumber entering us.

My arms wrapped tightly around the beauty that was mine, my angel, my love. I'd never leave him, at least not on purpose. I was slowly becoming human and Duo was my light, my reason for staying. I kissed the nape of his neck as I teetered over the edge of sleep. Duo snuggled up to me he fell into sweet oblivion, sharing the same dreams. And I knew that it was right, that everything would turn out fine, I just knew it.

(Next Morning)

(Heero)

I yawned widely as I opened my blurry eyes to the light of new-dawn gray. I was warm all over and I'd had the best sleep I could ever remember having. My arms were wrapped tightly around something that was equally warm and I smiled drowsily before confusion set in. Then I remembered the events of the night before. Duo. I sighed contentedly. He felt the same. I sighed again heavily this time; I'd have to leave him today. I was going to take his mission for him. Damn it, we'd barely just begun our relationship.

I slipped from the bed stealthily, careful not to wake my slumbering lover. He turned over, curling into the spot I'd just vacated and hummed in his sleep. I shook my head, smiling at him. I wandered into the bathroom and showered all of the now itchy, dried sperm from my chest and and abdomen, washing my hair and humming quietly under the heated spray. I still couldn't forget what Duo had looked like during his climax.

I finished relatively quickly, spending minimal amount of time to rid myself of the erection I'd given myself thinking about the night before. I dressed for the impending mission and scribbled a simple note on a scrap of paper for my lover. 'I your mission. Don't be angry. Sleep in. I'll see you later during the mission. I love you. 'Ro'

I left the note on the bed next to Duo's head, hoping he wouldn't role onto it while he slept. I had to take Duo's mission. The others would come in later as backup for me after I'd infiltrated and placed bombs throughout the base. Duo was the demolition expert, but there was no way he'd be on par after last night. I was sure I could pull it off. There wouldn't be a lot of mobile suits after all. It should have been easy. It was an OZ research base. As I saw it, an in-out operation. Set off some bombs, kill a few Leos and go home happy to see my Duo. I tied my boots quickly and left after giving Duo a butterfly kiss on his forehead.

(Duo)

I did the tie up on the end of my three foot long braid angrily, slipping out the door with the stealth born of the streets I'd grown up on. I tried to stay angry at Heero for taking my part of the mission, but I couldn't. I knew why he'd done it. My lower back ached and I hoped I wasn't walking oddly. Heaven help me if I was. I didn't know if I could deal with the guys' questions. I smirked as I walked silently to the hanger, I was to join the guys for the mission in Heero's place. I walked lightly into the hanger being used to hold our Gundams.

The guys were waiting already and apparently hadn't heard me yet, not to mention, they would be expecting my stoic counterpart instead of me. "Hey guys!" I called out loudly, jogging over. Wufei and Quatre jumped visibly. "A little jumpy are we?"I questioned, smirking, eyes alight with humor.

"Hey Duo, what are you doing here?" Quatre asked, a blush coloring his cheeks.

"Good morning Maxwell," Wufei greeted, pretending he hadn't heard the comment I'd made and obviously waiting for the answer to Quat's question. I was greeted with a pleasant nod from Trowa. What was with that guy, I mean he never and I mean NEVER talked, well not to me at least. I think he talked to Quatre. They were all looking at me intently.

"Heero and I decided to trade places, no big deal," I explained with a shrug, hoping it was enough of an answer.

"Are we all ready then?" Wu asked, exhaling an annoyed breath. Trowa and Quatre nodded affirmatively.

"Yeah, sure thing Wu-baby," I jabbed cheerily as I watched Wufei try to hold his anger at bay. It's not that I didn't like Chang, it was just fun to piss him off sometimes and so easy too.

"Do not call me that, the name is WUFEI!" he gritted out, storming off toward his Shenlong.

I headed for Deathscythe as well, chuckling along my way. "Hey baby, good morning. Gonna go kick some Ozzie ass today. So be good for me, 'kay?" I greeted the enormous onyx mecha, booting up my Gundam and waiting for the guys

.

"Ready," I got from all three of them.

"Alright then, Let's go!" I exclaimed, feeling the adrenaline already starting to course through my blood as I took off towards the base Heero had left for earlier that morning.

If I could, then I would

I'll go wherever you will go,

Way up high or down low

I'll go wherever you will go.

(OZ Base)

(Heero)

The bombs had been planted for over twenty minutes and I was being bombarded by mobile suits. It had not been a research facility; it was a fucking hanger full of the bastards. I was being overwhelmed and I couldn't get a beam canon aimed to set off the god damned bombs inside the base. There was no way to set them off otherwise. The only other thing that would set them off was an explosion, a very big explosion.

I had a decision to make. There were way too many Leos for me to take on alone and the others wouldn't be here for at least another five minutes, five minutes I didn't have to wait. I was already injured slightly with broken ribs due to a close encounter with a way too experienced soldier. I was beginning to think that it had been a set up all along. There was no time for the others to get here to set the stupid bombs off and I was already injured. I had only one choice. My last decision and damn it it was the hardest fucking thing I'd ever done. Self-Destruction was the only way. I hated it. I hated the war and the infernal Leos that were pummeling me. I hated Fate and all her cruel games and I hated the soldier in me. Why couldn't I be a coward for once and run away?

I typed a brief message into the computer:

'Duo,

I'm so sorry. We'll meet again someday. It was the only way. I had to set the bombs off. I've ended it when it's just barely begun. I'm so very sorry. I love you always. Goodbye.

Heero'

I hit the send button harder than I needed to, angry at the unjustness of it all. I closed my eyes and reached for the detonator that belonged to Wing. I realized belatedly that my cheeks were damp. Was I crying? I hadn't known it was possible. I started having second thoughts about my decision, delaying the inevitable. I made a quick connection to Deathscythe. I needed to see him just once more, once more just to say a final goodbye. I didn't want to die staring at the cockpit of my cold Gundam.

And maybe, I'll find out a way to

Make it back someday

To watch you,

To guide you

Through the darkest of your days.

If a greater wave shall fall

And fall upon us all

Well then,

I hope there's someone out there

Who can bring me back to you.

(Duo)

I was flying swiftly, only ten minutes until I saw Heero again, ten minutes. I looked ahead, hearing loud booms, sounding a lot like the rolling of thunder. I knew what it was before I even saw it. Explosions, it had to be, nothing else made the sound of thunder quite like they did. What the hell?! I sped up. What was going on? Heero? How could a research base have taken down Heero, the Perfect Soldier? It wasn't possible, not Heero, not if it was just a simple research facility. It had to have been a trap.

There was beep from my computer. It cut into my thoughts as I was trying to figure out what was going on. What the hell? A message? From who? I opened it quickly, expecting it to be from one of the others, asking about the noise. I was surprised when I saw that it had been sent several minutes before. I waited, sighing in annoyance while the file downloaded. Damn, was I impatient.

The small message popped up and I read it quicker than I thought I ever could. I read it over three times before I could comprehend it. It couldn't be true, it just couldn't. It had to be some kind of awful joke. I understood, I understood exactly what it was, but he hadn't done it yet. My thoughts were interrupted again as another bleep sounded from the irritated computer in front of me. I accepted the transmission without hesitation, knowing who it was. Maybe he was calling to say he was kidding. I doubted it, but am guy could hope, couldn't he?

Heero's face suddenly appeared on the screen, looking worn, "Duo? Duo, I'm sorry. I love you. I just had to see you one more time, before I--" he trailed off, eyes cast downwards. He couldn't even finish his sentence. It wasn't a joke.

"No! No, Heero, please, don't do this, please. I need you, I love you. I'm almost there. Please, can't you just hang on? Just a little longer? Don't leave me, not yet," I begged, feeling searing tears pour down my cheeks.

"No, Duo you won't make it in time, just let me go, please Duo? Don't make this harder than it already is. I'll come back to you one day. I promise, just wait for me," he spoke as though he wasn't going to die, choking on the words a little, trying to make me feel better when he knew that he was lying to me.

"B-But, Heero," I stuttered desperately. I was so close now, only two minutes away.

"Duo, I love you. Goodbye, and please don't forget me while I'm gone," he finished, ignoring my pleading as he kissed his bloodied fingers and placed them to the screen, a sorrowful smile on his lips as they trembled. I noticed something right then, I noticed that Heero was weeping, actually crying, tears glistening on his sharp cheekbones. He really hadn't wanted to do it. I placed my shaking hand to the screen as if I'd be able to feel his through the unforgiving glass.

"I'd never forget you, not ever. I love you. Goodbye Heero," my voice wavered, barely more than a broken whisper as I let him go and let myself go as well. I sobbed into my clammy hands, breath hitching.

"Duo," It was the last thing I heard as I looked up from my hands to the video screen and watched Heero push that little red button, the one that would take him away from me forever, "Goodbye, love..."and he was gone in a massive blast of fire, debris, and shrapnel.

'Goodbye...' I thought as I let my Gundam plummet to the ground below. There was no way I could pilot in my condition.

If I could, then I would

I'll go wherever you will go,

Way up high or down low

I'll go wherever you will go.

Run away with my heart

Run away with my hope

Run away with my love.

(Heero)

I looked down to the item in my palm. My thumb moved over the filthy red button, smeared with my blood and grease from my machine. I glanced back at Duo one last time. Goodbye Duo, I'm sorry. I crushed the button, still staring into Duo's beautiful blue-violet eyes, shimmering with tears. 'I'm so very sorry, Koi. I hope I'll keep my promise and come back to you someday. Never forget. Never forget me, please.' I thought silently as my mecha fell apart around me.

I closed my eyes as I was engulfed in flames. Goodbye. It was agony. I screamed until my voice cracked and broke as I was burned. It hurt so much, I passed out. I wondered how long it would take before death claimed me. Shinigami, death...Duo...

I fell from the shattered cockpit, into the debris of my destroyed gundam. I wasn't going to wait for death. Pain was horrible and even the 'Perfect Soldier' couldn't take all of it. All I wanted was peace and I closed my eyes for the final time before the tears could even begin to fall.

I know now just quite how

My life and love might still go on

In your heart,

In your mind

I'll stay with you for all of time.

(Duo)

I crash landed Deathscythe in a forested area and flung myself carelessly from the cockpit. I vomited three times, heaving up everything I'd eaten that morning and probably a gallon of bile from my abused stomach. I realized belatedly that the others were landing nearby, their mechas rumbling as they came to the ground. 'Only two of them?' I wondered idly.

Quatre came running over as soon as he'd exited Sandrock. Trowa was close behind, zip lining down from Heavyarms to stand next to the little blond. They both looked utterly concerned. Tears streaked my face as I wiped my mouth on my sleeve haphazardly.

"Duo, what happened?" Quatre questioned worriedly.

"He-Heero," I managed to stutter out brokenly, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to spill over again.

Then Trowa was there, wrapping his arms around me like an older brother would, "Shh, Duo, it's okay now. He did it to save us and the civilians around here. He'll never truly be gone. He's always going to be here with you, always," he was soothing me, or at least trying to, his voice so soft and cool that it was actually working. I'd even forgotten, this guy holding me, soothing me, was non-talkative Trowa, himself. I remembered vaguely that Wufei hadn't landed, he'd just yelled down from the open hatch of his Gundam that he'd go back to the safe house and get things prepared for our return.

Quatre collapsed on the ground beside Trowa, a hand coming to rest lightly on my shoulder, "Oh Duo, I'm so sorry, Heero," he began, his own voice quivering with emotion.

"Quatre, leave him be, okay? He needs to let go," Trowa interrupted, stopping Quatre's impending speech. He meant well, but his speech would have been far too much for me to handle at that time. Trowa had known that.

"Okay," the emotional blond agreed in a tiny voice, looking slightly hurt. "Duo, it'll be alright, I promise. Quatre, Wufei and I will take care of you while he's away," Trowa soothed in his soft tenor, stroking my hair as he held me.

I broke down right then, curling up in Trowa's lap like an injured child and I sobbed heart wrenchingly. I clenched my fists in the loose forest green fabric of his shirt until my knuckles were white and my palms ached. I hated crying. Trowa rubbed my back as I wept into his broad chest. He hugged me tightly, holding me close to him. He was talking again, soothing me with comforting whispers that made little sense, but were soothing non-the-less. If I tried hard, I could imagine that Heero was in his place. Their bodies weren't so different from one another.

"I-I loved him," I whispered raspingly, my voice worn from my violent sobbing fit and vomiting.

"I know. Shh, it's going to be fine now. You'll be alright. It'll take some time, but you'll survive, you have to, you're a survivor, Duo," Trowa replied in a quiet tone, his words hanging heavily in the still air.

"Trowa?" a hesitant voice called gently, making itself known.

"Yes, Quatre?" the tall man, whom had hardly said two words to me prior to that day, still holding me tightly answered the platinum-haired boy beside him.

"Well, it's getting dark. We should get him home. We can bring him in one of our Gundams and camouflage his until tomorrow. I don't think he can pilot," Quatre explained softly, gently moving my bangs away from my tear-clouded eyes. Quatre's own aquamarine orbs were shining with sympathy and reflected pain.

"Yes, you're right, Quatre. I'll take him though. I can carry him," Trowa replied, moving to stand, still holding me against his chest like a baby. I didn't even have the energy to be indignant.

I had been too out of it to protest, still in shock, I assumed. Trowa'd picked me up in his arms like I weighed nothing. I imagined that if he were Heero, it would feel the same. Trowa put me in his Gundam before climbing in himself and placing me back in his lap once again. Seconds, minutes, tens of minutes passed; I didn't really know, I was oblivious to everything except for the comforting voices of my caring comrades. Quatre radioed a later, telling us he was ready to go and my Gundam was hidden well. We left for the current safe house quickly, not even glancing back. I was still crying silently, my heart dying along with Heero and I didn't think I wanted to live anymore. Everyone I loved, died. And now that curse, my curse, had killed my lover.

We arrived at the house in record time. I don't even recall being rushed immediately to my room or when Quatre, Wufei, and Trowa all laid with me in my too-small bed. I grieved and they comforted me until I had cried myself to sleep. Sleep was fitful even though I didn't dream at all, no nightmares, nothing. The next day we'd have to find the Gundam debris and the body.

And in all of this, I'd awoken that day to a strange feeling. It hadn't gone away. When I thought about it, it'd been there, in the pit of my stomach since Heero had climaxed inside of me. I hadn't realized it then, but I'd remembered later. I didn't know what it was, but I'd hoped it was nothing.

(Next Day)

(Duo)

I didn't go with them to look for the Gundam and Heero's body. I couldn't. I sat in the windowsill, watching the rain trickle down the pane while depressing music played from my stereo, floating across the plains of my room. Quatre had stayed with me. I assumed they all thought I'd try to kill myself again like I had after that one mission. I'd been ordered to bomb a church full of OZ recruits. They'd just been babies, no more than thirteen. I was just fifteen and I shouldn't have to be in it, let alone slaughtering children only two years my juniors. True, it'd only been a year since then when I'd slit my wrists and I'd never forgive myself for what I did to those kids. Besides, they didn't have to worry I didn't even have the heart even to do that.

Trowa and Chang got back after about two hours. Trowa came into my room silently and I could hear Wufei soothing a sobbing Quatre outside my door. Trowa looked at me, his eyes showing his own grief and I acknowledged him with dead eyes of my own.

"Duo, I have something to tell you," he said in an oddly eerie tone. I watched solemnly, waiting for the news of the body and my dead lover.

"What is it?" I asked, my voice hollow and monotone. I couldn't bring myself to put the joker's mask back in place.

"We didn't find any sign of a body. There was nothing," he elaborated, giving me the best answer I ever could have hoped for. I couldn't believe it. He could be ALIVE! Still out there or kidnapped, but alive. Heero...

If I could then I would

I'll go wherever you will go

Way up high or down low

I'll go wherever you will go

If I could turn back time

I'll go wherever you will go

If I could make you mine

I'll go wherever you will go

I'll go wherever you will go...

Okay, so this is rewritten and re-vamped, so I hope you all enjoyed it. Please leave a review to let me know

Read the next chapter. It happens to be the sequel, 'Right There Behind You'. I thought it would be easier to put the sequel with the prequel, so you won't have to search for it. Nice of me, huh? .

Angel


	2. Chapter 2

Right Behind You

Heero X Duo

Sequel to Wherever You May Go.

Warning:Yaoi, swearing, MPreg, angst, OOCNESS, WAFF, etc...

I don't own GW or OLP.

Song: Right Behind You- Our Lady Peace

You haven't seen the world outside for days  
You sleep, you hope, you wait  
Imagination disappears  
And all the dreams you have you save  
Confrontation like a mirror  
They try to take your mind away

(Duo POV)

It had been six and a half months since Heero's supposed death. I couldn't and wouldn't believe that he was actually dead. Heero was supposed to be indestructible or at least that was what Doctor J had wanted us all to believe. Besides, they'd never found his body. He could've been anywhere. I couldn't stop hoping and praying that he was alive. Although all the reasons my imagination had conjured up as to why he hadn't returned had begun to fade, I was still holding onto the tiniest shred of hope. The guys were great, well kind of, I mean they kept trying to perk me up, they also kept telling me that maybe I was right and he would come back someday, but they really thought that he was dead. They were just humoring me, so that they wouldn't have to argue with me about it.

I hadn't been feeling very well in the last couple of months since Heero's 'disappearance' as I'd taken to calling it. It was really weird because I hardly ever got sick. I assumed it had something to do with a really good immune system because of all the junk I ate when I was younger on the streets of L2. I didn't think it was anything serious, well I hoped it wasn't. I had had this odd feeling sitting in the pit of my stomach too. I wasn't sure what it was exactly, just a strange knot. It didn't seem like a bad feeling, just different and weird kind of like nervousness or apprehension. It was almost as if I was waiting for something really intense to happen. Quatre says it's just nerves mixed with my feelings over Heero's 'disappearance'. That was bullshit if I ever heard it, but I humored him just to keep the peace.

It was even crazier, that day Quatre had brought in some of his Arabic food which I usually love, but as soon as I'd caught a whiff of it, my stomach had revolted against me. I'd ran into the bathroom so fast I'd made my own head spin, which made things just that much worse.

"Duo, are you alright?" Quatre questioned from the other side of the white painted door of the restroom. I bent over the ivory porcelain toilet and puked again, successfully heaving up all of the contents of my stomach. Hearing me retch, Quatre had rushed in. "Oh Allah! Are you okay? What's wrong?" he exclaimed in concern. He reached to hold my hair back as I vomited yet again even though I was sure I had nothing left to throw up. I couldn't believe what was happening.

I began having dry heaves. I guess my stomach didn't have any bile left to toss. After about six heaves, I collapsed against Quatre. He yelled for Trowa who appeared almost simultaneously. I felt really weak and dizzy, my vision swimming dangerously on the outskirts of unconsciousness.

"What's wrong?" I heard Trowa ask right before I everything went dark.

(Dr. J's Lab, somewhere just outside of Tokyo, Japan.)

(Heero's POV)

I missed Duo terribly. That was the same thought, the only thought in fact that had been going through my head for the past six and a half months since I'd self-destructed. Dr. J had apparently stolen me away from the wreckage after my self-destruction, intending to re-train me. He had been having my Gundam revamped and remodeled while he'd let me heal and then began with some of his eccentric training regimens although he said I was being difficult this time around and that he'd have to spend extra of his precious time breaking me in all over again. Just that thought alone made me want to escape from wherever he was keeping me that much faster. I needed to see Duo again anyway. Wing would be ready very soon then I would be able to make my escape.

I'd already planned it out too. In just a little while longer everything would be set for my escape. I didn't remember much about the crash, just that I had had no choice at that time. Then I remembered Duo's tear-filled eyes. I also recalled making love to Duo the night before the mission which was probably the happiest memory I had. My beautiful baka. I had a feeling that I really shouldn't have stayed much longer where I was. I just knew that something wasn't right with Duo. I just knew it somehow.

Dr. J entered my dull, plain gray room and told me that my Gundam was perfectly completed, the way it should be and to meet him in the library for more training at 8 o'clock that evening. 'Yeah right' I'd thought sarcastically to myself. Like I was going to waste anymore time with the old man. I was so out of there. I had escaped relatively easily, considering who J was. Doctor J had definitely skimped out on security at his place this time.

don't know, but I believe in yesterday

And what it means

To bleed and know that you're okay

Are you waiting?

No matter what you say

No matter what you do

No matter what, I'm always right there behind you

No matter what, I'm always right there behind you

(Safe house in Okinawa)

(Duo's POV)

"Duo, come on, wake up," Wufei's mildly irritated voice registered in my foggy mind.

"Mmm," I groaned groggily, cracking my eyes open just a bit. My head was pounding beyond belief, I was sweating and I was fucking freezing. I was shaking and I felt like I was gonna throw up all over again although I doubted that for lack of substance to vomit. I was worse than any hangover I had ever had before in my entire sixteen years of life.

"Duo? How do you feel?" Wufei asked, concern written clear across his face. Wufei okay, I mean I really must have freaked them out if even Wufei-Mr-stick-up-the-ass had been worried about me.

"I feel like I've been ran over by a wild stampede of Aries then sat on by Heavyarms," I rasped harshly, my throat scratchy from puking. I looked up gratefully as a water bottle was placed into my shaky hands.

"Duo, Quatre is a wreck. You really scared the shit out of us you know? We all agree that it's time we call Sally. We're worried about you, so please just humor us, okay?" he asked pleadingly. I just nodded silently, not having enough energy to argue. I didn't really want to see a doctor, but I guessed it was better than dying unnecessarily.

After that incident, I felt absolutely fine, positively healthy except for that weird feeling that still clung to the bottom of my stomach. That was still there. Well, I pretty much completely fine except I seemed to feel nauseous in the mornings. It didn't last throughout the day, so I brushed it off as nerves. I tried to convince the guys that it wasn't necessary that we drag Sally all the way here from Tokyo, just for an overnight bug, but they refused to give in, saying it would do me good to get a check up anyway. It was like arguing with a brick wall; they would not budge.

I jerked my head toward the door as it opened. Trowa and Wufei entered my room quietly, the door hardly making a sound as the came in. "What?" I snapped at them irritably. They studied me for a minute before speaking.

"Duo what's wrong, I mean really wrong? You've been different ever since Heero's dea-disappearance. What happened?" Trowa asked tentatively, his emerald eyes searching for answers hidden within my own.

"You really wanna know?" I questioned agitatedly. They both nodded slightly, curious as to what my problem was. "Well, maybe it's the fact that you guys secretly talk about Heero like he's dead! And that I'm a stark, raving, mad lunatic which I am not by the way. Forgive me for being a little edgy when my best friends think I'm nuts because my lover just disappeared off the face of the planet without a trace okay? I'm having a little trouble dealing with that at the moment," I groused sarcastically. They both looked to the floor sheepishly like dogs that had gotten in trouble for shitting on the carpet or stealing from the garbage. If they'd had tails, they would have had them tucked between their legs in shame. It served them right too. They deserved to feel guilty about it.

There was a light tap on the door and then Quatre entered. He looked at the others questioningly before speaking to me, "Um Duo, Sally's here," he said softly.

"Whatever," I snipped angrily. Quatre flinched visibly and I immediately felt guilty for being so rude to the kind blond. I really wasn't in a good mood though. I didn't know why they kept bugging me when I obviously was easily provoked at the moment. I had been puking again which meant that their resolve to make Sally come had been solidified. They all backed out quickly as Sally entered. She gave them strange looks as they tiptoed out of my room. I glared icily at them until they were gone.

"So Duo, what seems to be the trouble?" Sally inquired lightly. I turned my furious glare on her instead of the now closed door. My face softened as I saw the genuine concern in her usually stern blue-gray eyes.

"I'm sick." I replied plainly, not really wanting to divulge the bitter details of my ailment.

She raised an eyebrow before asking," You never get sick. Are you eating well? Getting an adequate amount of sleep?" I sighed in obvious defeat. She wasn't going to leave until she was satisfied with my answers.

"Well, I was, that is until I got sick. Now I can't sleep 'cause I'm always feverish and uncomfortable and I can't eat 'cause everythin' I eat comes back up on me. I swear to god the toilet gets more to eat than I do," I explained grumpily, crossing my arms over my chest.

She scribbled some stuff onto her pad of paper and I assumed she had written down what I'd described, "I see," she said thoughtfully before continuing, "Are there any other symptoms besides fever, discomfort and vomiting?" she questioned in a professional tone.

"Yeah I get these flashes of heat out of nowhere and then I get really cold out of the blue. I'm irritable and moody all the time. I feel overly nauseous in the mornings and I have this weird feeling in my stomach, not a bad feeling just kinda strange," I counted off on my fingers, "Oh and I can't stand the smell of certain foods. They make me throw up," I finished idly with a heavy sigh.

Sally hummed and hawed for a few minutes as she scribbled the rest of the symptoms down on the lined paper she held. "Well," she sighed, " This has to be the most peculiar thing I've ever heard," she said, tapping a fingertip to her chin in thought.

"What?" I asked, beginning to panic. What did she mean by 'peculiar'?

"Duo, these symptoms only occur together when a woman goes through pregnancy," she explained, giving me an odd look. My eyes widened and my mouth hung open haphazardly.

"S-so what you're saying is-- You're telling me that I'm-- That I'm-- P-pregnant?" I sputtered incredulously. How was that even physically possible? Pregnant!? Me, Duo Maxwell, pronounced male!? Jesus Christ on a fucking bicycle eating crackers!

"Well it appears so. I would assume it would have to do with experiments performed on you while you were under Professor G's care. You should take a pregnancy test to be sure and I'll take some blood, but I'm pretty positive that you are pregnant if your symptoms are anything to go by. Do you know when your last sexual encounter was and with whom? I should need to know that information, so that I can set a due date and have the birthing papers properly in order," she confirmed as though it were not completely insane sounding. I gaped at her. How in the hell could she be so calm? Due date?

"Due date?" I questioned, confusedly.

"Well yes, of course. You know, the date when the baby will be born, unless you're going to have an abortion. I would strongly recommend that you do so, although you may already be too far along,"she spoke softly like she was trying to calm me down.

"I-I don't think I could do that Sally. I couldn't kill it. It just wouldn't feel right. What info did you need to know?" I asked, still in shock.

"When you last had sexual intercourse and with whom?" she repeated her earlier questions.

"Six months and three weeks ago, with," I stalled, unable to force the words out.

"With?" Sally pushed on, an eyebrow raised in question.

"Heero," I whispered. It was just hitting me. Heero was the father of my unborn child! How had things turned out to be so fucked up?!

"Oh dear, are you sure?" she asked.

"Yes, I'm sure damn it! Contrary to popular belief, I'm not a slut. I've only ever slept with Heero. It has to be him," I clarified defensively. Sally nodded and scribbled down the information. I heaved a stress-filled sigh.

"I'm sorry Duo. I mean, about Heero-" she began quietly. I knew that tone well enough by now.

I cut in, "Save it! He's not dead, I know it."

"I hope you're right. Um Duo, because you're so far along in the pregnancy I must schedule an ultrasound right away. Perhaps tomorrow? It's strange that you've not gained any weight since the baby began to grow," she said almost to herself. I nodded to the question and she took her leave, a look of pondering on her face.

Sally was right; it was odd that I didn't look pregnant. I didn't say so, but I had actually gained a couple of pounds. I guessed it really didn't matter all that much.

I could hear the others battering her with questions as soon as she left my room. Nosy bastards that they were. I heard their collective gasps and a string of Chinese curses as she explained the diagnosis to my esteemed comrades. Damn, I was in for some kind of hell after she left.

I laid back on my bed, savoring whatever peace I still had. My fever was beginning to give me a headache. I just hoped the others wouldn't give me too much hassle when they came to speak with me, which I knew was inevitable.

There was a tap at the door. Speaking of the devil, Quatre, Wufei, and Trowa walked in, looking concerned. They sort of looked happy I guessed. "Duo?" Quatre called as he sat down next to me, putting his hands over mine kindly, his thumbs rubbing over the backs of my knuckles in smooth circular motions.

"Hmm?" I murmured softly in acknowledgment. I looked into his worried aquamarine eyes. He was looking back at me, our gazes meeting silently.

"Duo, we know about the baby. Sally told us everything. She-she also told us that you probably should get an abortion. Duo, you won't, will you?" he asked, his voice was so soft that it was more like a whisper and a little shaky and he looked like he was going to cry.

I shook my head negatively, "No Quat. I refuse to. I couldn't kill something as innocent as a baby, especially not my own," I tried to smile as I said the words, but I failed miserably and tears began to well up in my own blue-violet orbs. What the hell was going on?

"But Duo, you're not ready for a kid and-and we're in the middle of a war for God's sake! How will you take care of it? Are you going to put it up for adoption? You're only sixteen. And-and what if you don't survive the birth?" Wufei basically interrogated.

"Listen, I know the risks and I know that its gonna be hard, but I've got great friends that will help me out. I can't stand the thought of killing it. And besides I can't make the decision on my own. The baby's father has a say too," I answered quietly, hoping to sooth my migraine.

"Don't abandon it Duo!" Trowa exclaimed all of the sudden, making me jump. We all looked at him in confusion. I didn't think any of us had ever heard him exclaim anything before. "I'm sorry, it's just if you put it up for adoption, that's like abandoning it. I-I just don't like to think of what that's like for a child. I went through that when I was young. I think I agree with you to keep it," he explained, his tone returning to normal. I nodded as did Quatre, showing his support as well.

"Duo, who's the father?" the 04 pilot inquired tentatively.

"Heero," I replied simply. I couldn't look at their shocked faces. Silent tears streaked down my cheeks.

"What?!" Wufei blew up. It had been too much for him. I winced at the harshness and the volume of his voice.

"Are you sure?" Trowa asked pensively. I closed my eyes on my tears, hoping to swallow them down and face my friends.

"Yes, I'm sure," I confirmed softly, my voice quivering just the slightest.

"How can you be certain?" Wufei demanded. He still seemed kind of angry at the whole situation.

"Heero took my virginity almost seven months ago," I explained shakily, hoping beyond hope that my answer would put a stop to their questions. They all nodded without a word. Quatre blushed slightly. I smiled a small sad smile. Gods, what was I going to do?

by the atmosphere

You breath, you choke, you breath again

Conversation disappears

You realize they're not your friends

The panic of the future rears

You dig, you jerk

You find another way

(Safehouse- Next Day)

"Damn! That shit's cold!" I exclaimed as Sally smeared blue jelly on my still flat stomach, although it was a bit more full than it used to be. The petroleum jelly was freezing.

"Language! You don't want your newborn to learn those curse words do you? I'm sorry about the temperature, but I didn't have time to warm it up in lukewarm water because you were too impatient and wanted to get this stupid thing over with as you so crudely put it,"she replied sternly. That got me to shut up. You know, Sally was going to make a great mother someday.

"Well, you don't seem to be getting bigger at all," she trailed off as though she was talking to herself. As she hooked up the ultrasound machines, she frowned, her brows drawing together slightly, making her look older than her mere twenty years.

"Is it a bad thing?" I wondered. I was starting to get concerned about it.

"Possibly. If your hips don't widen, it will be very difficult to deliver the baby. It may become distressed if it gets stuck," she explained as she began to move the small machine over my stomach.

"Stuck?" I repeated. Hips widen? Wait a minute where was this thing being born from?

"Well yes. I imagine it will come out the way it got in," she replied with a small knowing smile. My eyes widened impossibly.

"Oh there she is. Wow!" Sally exclaimed. It made me wonder which one of us was having this baby although it was amazing to see the tiny body on the black and white screen.

don't know, but I believe in yesterday

And what it means

To bleed and know that you're okay

Are you waiting?

(Two months later)

I was in labor the moment it was beyond shitty. Contractions hurt like a bitch. I'd never experienced anything like it. I'd been shot and stabbed with shrapnel, punched, burned, and a billion other painful things, but nothing compared to labor. And the worst part of it was that I had three sixteen year old guys in the room freaking out with me and I was the one that was in labor!

"Oh my god! Is that the head?" Quatre exclaimed ridiculously. I wasn't even fully unclothed yet. Sally was on her way right then and she had told me to be ready for when she got there, so I was in the middle of undressing while my comrades ran about like chickens with their heads chopped off.

There was a loud thump and I looked over to see Wufei passed out on the floor. Then the door flew open and everything changed from semi-stressful to a thousand miles a minute. I didn't even have time to blink. My clothes were gone and I was on my back on the bed with my legs spread. "Jesus shit Christ!" I swore as Sally hitched my legs up, gazing at my most intimate areas.

Sally was barking orders and looking between my legs every couple of minutes. It felt really weird to have everyone see my rear end amongst other private things. I felt really embarrassed. Whoa! What the hell was Sally doing now?

"Sally what the hell are you doing?" I almost yelled as she poked around in between my thighs. She was touching some very private areas. Ones that no one, but Heero should have been privy to touching.

"I have to get the muscles to relax so that the baby will be able to get out easier," she explained, rnning her fingertips around my entrance, "Okay now on the count of three I want you to push okay?" My eyes widened as she said those words. Oh god, this was it.

"1,2, and 3," Sally counted out loudly. And I did. I clenched my eyes shut. It stung like a bitch as my rear stretched impossibly wide and I wondered if it would ever be normal again. "Okay, that's good. Breathe and we'll go again," she commanded and looked back under the sheet she'd placed over my spread legs. Quatre and Trowa were on either side of me, watching anxiously, their eyes glued to Sally.

Sally counted again and then I pushed harder than the last time. Gods, it hurt. Next time a woman said I didn't know what the pain of childbirth was like she was going to get an earful. Damn! I screamed incoherently as I pushed.

"I can see the head Duo. Just one more big push. Here we go! 1,2,3!"she called out loudly, encouraging me. I pushed as hard as I could, the muscles in my abdomen burning with the effort. I screamed again and then it was like a great pressure was lifted. My ass was searing like a motherfucker and I was totally spent, but relief was already washing over me. I closed my eyes and just breathed for a few seconds. I didn't here any noise, no baby cries, nothing. My eyes shot open, panic setting in instantly.

"Where's the baby? I-is she alright?" I asked frantically. Sally turned around and smiled as she held a small bundle out to me. I reached out my shaking hands and took the bundle from her. I looked down at my new baby girl for the first time ever. She was beautiful. She was so tiny, like a wrinkly, red doll. She yawned and then her eyes opened dazedly. I wondered idly how a newborn could be so mild-mannered, but I didn't complain. I brushed her dark hair back from her forehead gently with just the tips of my fingers. She wrinkled her forehead and it reminded me of Heero. Her eyes were a dark blue violet colour that reflected both Heero and my eyes. She looked just like him, I thought. Everything about her reminded me about him. I smiled.

"Duo? What is her name?" Sally asked tentatively. I looked at the now sleeping baby in my arms curled comfortably in my arms. I didn't take my eyes off of her.

"Leanna," I answered quietly. Sally nodded silently. They all slowly drifted out of the room, leaving me with my baby.

A little while later Sally brought in a bottle of formula. I was glad that we'd bought all the supplies the baby would need over the last two months. She handed the bottle to me and I began to feed Lea. She gulped down the food like she was starved. How could she be, she had just popped out of me an hour or so ago? I grinned, already in love with her. She may look like Heero, but she definitely had my appetite.

matter what you say

No matter what you do

No matter what, I'm always right there behind you

No matter what you say

No matter what you do

No matter what, I'm always right there behind you

(Five years later- present)

(Duo)

Heero never did come back after the war. I still don't believe that he's dead, just lost somewhere, maybe even looking for me. He's never even seen his daughter. She's so beautiful, growing up so fast.

Her hair is grown long and is usually held back in pigtails or braids. She loves to play with my hair and she hopes she can grow hers as long as mine one day. She's still tiny for her age, but she's healthy and as hyper as I am. She starts grade one in the fall. She's so excited about it too. She turns five next week and she keeps asking about her present as if I will actually tell her what it is if she keeps asking me.

She's up already. I can hear her tiptoeing down the hall. Too bad I'm a master at stealth and can hear her every move. She sneaks into the room and just as she's about to grab me and yell, I grab her and yank her under the covers with me. She screams and giggles. I laugh and tickle her.

After we are calm again, I get up. "C'mon squirt, let's go brush our teeth and put our hair up," I suggest with a yawn. She smiles and nods to my words. I give her a piggyback to the bathroom. She giggles and tells me to 'giddy up'. I pretend to whinny like a horse and run the rest of the way to the blue bathroom.

"Daddy, I want pigtails today," she says excitedly, bouncing on the balls of her feet. I nod and remind her that we have to brush our teeth first. We use the purple bubblegum toothpaste that I always buy and then she sits on the toilet seat. I brush out the bedtime tangles and grab a couple of purple hair bands with flower bobbles on them. I part her soft, chocolate brown locks with the chestnut streaks in them and pull it into pigtails expertly. I then begin to pull my meter and a half long hair into a high ponytail. She hugs me around the neck and plants a moist kiss on my cheek as I am finishing up.

I smile and she grins back at me. "Hey squirt, what do you say we go to the park when we're done breakfast?" I ask as we hopped down the stairs.

"Yeah!" she exclaims loudly, jumping up and down with barely contained energy. I grin and proceed making breakfast. Chocolate chip pancakes are on the menu this morning.

After we eat and put our dishes in the dishwasher, we leave a note on the door for Marcia, the mail lady so that she knows why Lea isn't at the door to greet her this morning. It says, 'Gone to park. Love Lea.'

We walk the three blocks down to the park and Lea tells me what she plans to do there today. I smile and tell her that she has a good plan. We hold hands, swinging them back and forth playfully as we made our way to our favourite playground.

We arrive at the park and I sit in the long grass and watch her play. She brings me a caterpillar she found on the slide and sits next to me.

"Look daddy, he's got blue spots," she says intelligently, pointing at the cerulean coloured spots on the insect's back. I watch her and smile.

"What are you going to name him?" I ask curiously. She wrinkles her forehead like Heero used to when he was thinking and then after a moment of thought, her dark eyes light up.

"Mr. Skittles," she answers with a proud grin. I laugh and nod several times.

"That's a good name. Maybe we'll take him home and wait to see what kind of butterfly he turns into," I offer.

"Okie, but first he has to spin himself into a cocoon. He won't be a moth because he's not fuzzy. Moth capitilars are fuzzy," she recites. I smile at her pronunciation. She's very smart for an almost five year old, though sometimes she has trouble with speech, which I've been told is completely normal for her age.

"Daddy, what was my other daddy like?" she asks suddenly. I glance over at her, meeting her matching purplish eyes. Unlike some parents, I had told my little girl everything. She had pictures of Heero and I had told her all about him. She thought it was very humorous that he had never laughed when I was acting funny.

"He was very strong and very special to me," I describe thoughtfully. She watches me.

"I pray to the baby Jesus every night. I ask him if he can find my other daddy and bring him home to us," she tells me. I don't tell her that Jesus never really existed or that god is a fantasy. I just smile and nod. Children have to have something to believe in.

"Maybe if you be a good girl, he will answer your prayers," I suggest and she nods happily.

She puts Mr. Skittles on my arm and takes the tennis ball I brought with us over to the brick wall. I stand slowly, my eyes on my arm as I do, so that I don't drop the caterpillar. When I look up there is a man standing next to Lea. She is saying something to him and then she hands him the ball. He tosses it and catches it. Then he kneels down and talks to her. She giggles. I am starting to get scared. I swallow reflexively and I walk swiftly towards them.

As I get closer I can here Lea talking. "Daddy's over there with Mr. Skittles. Would you like to see?" she's asking, her voice soft and filled with cheer. The stranger nods silently. I stop as they turn towards me. Lea grabs the man's hand and pulls him towards me.

"Daddy! Look, my prayers came true!" she exclaims, tugging the man along behind her. I look at her, puzzled. Then the stranger steps closer to me.

"Duo?" his voice is so familiar as he speaks my name. My eyes grow wide. Heero?

"Oh my god! Heero, is that really you?" I almost whisper in disbelief. He looks up from the little girl tugging at his coat. Joyful tears begin to fall down my cheeks. I run to him and hug him. He hugs me back tightly. I can't believe this is happening.

He kisses me then, his lips crushing against my own. Then Lea is pushing her way between us. I laugh through my tears.

Heero looks down at her then picks her up and gives her a kiss on the cheek. She giggles and throws her arms around his neck. He's surprised.

"She knew who I was Duo," he states disbelievingly. I nod, smiling softly.

"Of course, she knows who her other daddy is. I've told her all about you," I reply quietly. Something tickles my neck. I put my hand there and realize that I had forgotten about Mr. Skittles, whom has traveled up my arm to my neck while I wasn't paying attention. I laugh and put him back on my hand.

Heero takes my other hand. Leanna is on his shoulders. We walk slowly back towards my house. I might actually get my happily ever after after all.

(Heero POV)

After I had escaped from Doctor J's lab, I had no idea where I was and I was terribly disoriented. J quickly caught up with me and sedated me. I went through several months of training, but I was smarter this time and J never broke me. I let him think he had control until I could be free.

During the time I was being trained the other pilots never knew I was alive. They took over all the missions which were few during the seven or eight months I had been trained. After J was satisfied that I was up to par, he gave me a barrage of missions,keeping me too busy to look for my lover. They were all one right after the other. I never had time to contact the other pilots.

After the war had ended, I finally began my search for the others and myself. Before I found them or Duo, the Mariemaia war happened. I was lost after that. I sent my Gundam to Quatre and began my search for Duo all over again. He'd moved around several times then disappeared completely. He didn't come to either of the parties that I had gone to at Relena's. He practically fell off the map.

It took me nearly three years to track him down and three months to convince myself to go see him. It was a semi-warm day in May when I finally did go to see him. I was on my way, but as I walked through a park towards the location I knew to be his home. I saw two people. One was a young girl. She looked to be about four or five years old. She had long hair that was put up in pigtails. She was quite an adorable little thing. When she saw me, she got really excited. She asked if I wanted to play ball with her.

I had told her I didn't think her daddy would like it if she were playing with a stranger. She giggled and said I was silly because she already knew who I was. I looked at her confusedly. She put the ball in my hand and told me to throw it then catch it. She reminded me completely of Duo. She just had his personality and his smile for some odd reason.

Later after Duo and I were reunited and I learned that the little girl, Leanna Rae Yuy as she was named was my only daughter. Duo had explained the pregnancy and I'd apologized for not being there for him during it. I was actually disappointed that I hadn't been there.

We were happy and I moved in with them easily, after all, I had nothing else to go back to. We had some trouble with the sleeping arrangements at first and there was quite a damper on our sex life, seeing as Lea liked to crawl into bed with us in the middle of the night. We ended up putting a lock on the door, just so we at least had a warning before we let her in.

Duo wants to try again for another child soon. I'm not sure if I want him to. He could die giving birth. He really wants another one. I did too even though the risks were dangerous. I loved him and our family together, so I was willing to try. I was just glad that I was alive to be here for it.

open up my veins now I don't feel the same

no no no

You open up my brain but I wont be replaced

No matter what you say

No matter what you do

No matter what I'm always right there behind you

No matter what I'm always right there behind you

No matter what I'm always right there behind you

No matter what I'm always right there behind you

Owari

I hope you all enjoyed the stories. I rewrote them, so I hope they were improved enough for everyone. Please review, I really appreciate the feedback.

Angel


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